Empathy and Responsibility

In thinking about what I wanted to talk about this week, I decided I want to talk about Empathy and taking responsibility for what you are doing. The other day at school I had a student come into my classroom all upset.  She said her teacher was mad at her, I asked her what she did.  She said so and so made me write a note and that the teacher was mad at her for what she was made to write.  I said wait just a minute and tell me what you did without saying someone made me do it.  She looked at me like I was crazy.  I said what did YOU do in this situation?  She said So and so, I said so and so can't make you do anything, you chose to write the note.  She looked at me again and tried to figure out what I wanted her to say to make it look like the other person is at fault.  In the end I explained to her that no body can make us do anything we don't want to do.  Even if it feels like they are making us do something, we still have the choice to make it happen.  

    That is what it is like in life.  I have the choice to put what food I want in my mouth, even if someone is nice and gives me a cake or candy.  I have the ultimate choice to eat it.  Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.  It depends on how I feel that day.  I can't hurt someones feelings unless they choose to be hurt.  Someone can't make me angry, I choose to be angry.  Just like my student had a choice, we have a choice.  We have to take responsibility for our own actions.  It seems like we are letting this next generation make excuses for everything they do.  It's ok to be mean to the next person, because someone was mean to us.  Something didn't go right at work or at school and now we take it out on the people we love at home.  There seems to be no empathy in the world for the other person.  What ever happened to not judging until we have walked a mile in their shoes.  To me it seems that no body cares about how the other person is feeling.  We need to show empathy and love to those around us.  We need to have our world find respect for other people and take responsibility for what we can do in this world.  

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints said

Empathy is defined as “the action of understanding … and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present.”⁶ 

Next time you walk into a room, look around and try to feel what people are feeling.  I like to try and put myself in their shoes, and see what they see.  Sometimes when people are so frustrated, it is hard for me to feel what they are feeling because frustration is not something I like to feel.  But when I try to see the situation through their eyes, it makes sense that they would get frustrated.  If you do get frustrated with someone, try and put yourself in their situation.  There is really no way to know why they are reacting the way they are.  You can only try and feel the way they do and take responsibility for what you are doing.  John Izzo in his book Stepping up, He says, "The responsibility. . . . is about choosing to do what you can in your sphere of influence without worrying about what anyone else is or is not doing.  People in our world are so worried about what others are doing, that they are not being empathetic or being responsible for what they are doing.  I really believe that if we would just worry about ourselves and make sure we are being good humans. If everyone did that our world would be a much better place.  So ask yourself, what is my responsibility in this world?  What can I do to make a change?  How would it feel to walk in that other person's shoes?  

Really people, just take responsibility for what you can do!!  Show some love and compassion for all human kind.  Live so other people know you are a good person that cares about people.  

That is my message this week, Love and live with responsibility and empathy.  Talk to you next week.