Food is my addiction

This last couple  of weeks have been a whirl wind of emotions.  My thoughts  are wrapped around people in my life.  Each person touches your life in one way or another.  Each person you meet could leave a lasting impression on your life.  We said good bye to a very good man a couple of weeks ago. He played a huge role in my son's life.  I will forever be grateful for a Heavenly Father that knew exactly what my son needed when he needed it.  Thank You Bishop Max Nicholas for making a lasting impression on my families life.  I will forever be grateful for that! So I am now ready to embark on the challenge to loose weight.  The last 2 months I have set up my mind to get ready for the life changing times.  I have tried to talk myself into just one more doughnut, one more bowl of ice cream one more who knows what.  Well I don't want to give any of that up so I have been trying to figure out how I can still eat that stuff and loose...

Here I am with my honesty in tacked.  "Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved" (Alma 32:13) The next step in the addiction recovery is HOPE. As I study this program I realize that my addiction to food is nothing compared to other people.  And yet I still have an addiction.  I find that when I eat, most of the time it is food I am addicted to.  I am finding that I need to find that hope that a lot of people find when they are faced with an addiction.  "Most of us felt stripped of any hope"  that line makes me so sad but yet some times when I am eating the things I know will make me feel yucky; that is what goes through my mind. "Forget it I just want to eat what I want to eat" "I can't give it up"  "I just want that bowl...

The last 3 weeks were full of lots of stress and major things going on in my life.  As I look back over them I'm not sure why I felt so stressed.  I did have a lot of things going on.  I had a lot of concerns with my children but not to major.  Work was a stress but it is a lot of the time, I am a teacher.  I've thought a lot about when and why did I become a stress eater...... Flash back 11 years ago.  I had just given birth to my 4th living child.  When he was 1 month old he developed the same thing my other two boys had Asthma.  Usually with Asthma you have to show a pattern of him being sick for 1 year before he would be diagnosed with Asthma.  He was to young and to small to mess around with this sickness.  It freaked me out.  We had not even started the fall months and he was super sick.  They put him on a steroid and I was not going to play the game of figuring out if he had Asthma or not.  I insisted the doctors ...

" When we chose to admit to ourselves that we had a problem and we become willing to seek support and help, we gave that hope a place to grow."  I love this line from the Addiction Recovery manual.  I guess that is what this blog is to me.  It is a place for me to learn and grow while I share my story with others.  I do want people to know that I am not writing this as an accountability.  I love to talk and so I am hoping that talking about my addiction and sharing with you what I learned over a week will help others too.   So my first week at acknowledging my food addiction was an eye opener.  There were moments that I would forget what I was doing and eat something that I didn't need.  I would then think "what are you doing"  One very positive note for my week was worked really hard to not over eat.  I stopped when I was full.  That is really big for me.  Finishing the food on my plate was something that I always had to do...

Last year in 2015 I set out to lose weight.  I had a plan and I did awesome.  I followed my plan for 6 months and then I went on a trip with my husband and my plan got lost.  I thought for sure I had found a plan that I could do and I could finally make changes to my eating style that would become a part of me forever.  On that trip I stuck to my plan for 1 week, the second week I just wanted to eat what I wanted and didn't want to think about eating healthy and exercise. I just wanted to do what ever and not worry about what went into my mouth.  Well that was a bad idea because once I got home all my bad habits that I quit for 6 months came back to me and the next 6 months I gained back everything I had lost in the previous 6 months.  WHY? I ask myself this every time I put a donut into my mouth.  Every time I eat junk that I know will make me feel crappy(sorry no other way to say it) as soon as I eat it. In the last 6  months I have come to the ...