Raising Kids #1

Happy Thanksgiving, It has taken me a few weeks to get this topic put together.  I will not lie, I am struggling with wanting to share this topic with you because raising kids is very hard sometimes and raising kids does not always turn out the way we want.  In the next few weeks I'm going to talk to you about raising kids.  I'm not a perfect mom, but I have learned some things over the years that I want to share with you, in hopes that it will help you in your journey.

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we have a Sunday once a year where our young children sing and say a little part to tell the adults what they have learned in primary for the year.  Today was our primary program.  It is my favorite Sacrament meeting of the year because the children are so genuine and their testimonies of our Savior Jesus Christ are unique and special.  It always reminds me of the scripture when Jesus tells us to be like little children.  Their testimonies are pure and told with conviction.  They know Jesus loves them and they know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  There is something about little ones that they know with out a shadow of doubt that what they are learning is true.  

So what happens from that time to the time the children grow up and they doubt what they have been taught their whole life.  They start to question it and some of them even walk away from what they learned to start a new life that doesn't have so many restrictions.  Or so they think.  

I have a child that has chosen another life. Children that do this tend to have had a life they felt they were treated badly, or they just don't fit in.  This is what happened with my child.  My child felt like no body liked him/her.  My child felt like he/she was forced to go to church when in actuality that child never voiced that concern to me or my husband because they new church was important to us and that we wanted them to go.  I don't feel like we failed that child, that child started making choices because the life style we raised them in didn't seem to work for them.  When in actuality, there are still a lot of things that child does that goes with the life they were raised in.  Sometimes our children see things in the world that seem to fit in the life they want more than in the life they were raised in.  Here is the big question, do you love your child more than the choices they make?  It does not do any good to correct them every time you see them. It does not do any good to tell them what they are doing wrong every time you talk to them.  They know how you feel.  They know that you are probably disappointed in them. They know you do not like the life style they chose.  The question is can you still love them even through they chose a different life style than what you wanted? Can they still feel your love even though you are sad they chose a different life style?  

You have a child that you raised to believe in God. You know at some point they had a testimony. So what happened? In my families case, my child got wrapped up in the world.  My child is trying to find out what this life has to offer. It might not be the way I had planned but it could very well be the way Heavenly Father had planned for that child.  Now my job is to love that child and help that child realize him or her worth in our Heavenly Father's eyes. As parents we love and pray for our children. We want them to be happy but with being happy they need to experience some hard times.  They need to learn to turn to Heavenly Father for help.  In a loving way, I remind my child that there is a higher power that wants what he or she wants.  We need to remember that each experience in life, we can either wallow in despair or we can learn from it and become a better person.  So that is what I remind my child.  Ok this bad thing happened, what are you going to learn from it?  You can sit around and let it destroy your life or you can figure out what you need to learn from it.  

  One thing I want you to understand, most of the time when you think you are a bad parent, 9 times out of 10 you are doing better than you think you are.  We always have things we can work on, that is a given.  No parent is perfect, even those parents that look like they are perfect, they are not. But remember as long as you are doing better than you did the day before, it will all work out.  Love your kids, that is what they need the most.  They need to know that no matter what they do, you will love them.  

Alright have a great week and enjoy this season of being thankful and having the light of Christ in your life.  I'll talk to you next week!