Stress is a factor
The last 3 weeks were full of lots of stress and major things going on in my life. As I look back over them I'm not sure why I felt so stressed. I did have a lot of things going on. I had a lot of concerns with my children but not to major. Work was a stress but it is a lot of the time, I am a teacher. I've thought a lot about when and why did I become a stress eater......
Flash back 11 years ago. I had just given birth to my 4th living child. When he was 1 month old he developed the same thing my other two boys had Asthma. Usually with Asthma you have to show a pattern of him being sick for 1 year before he would be diagnosed with Asthma. He was to young and to small to mess around with this sickness. It freaked me out. We had not even started the fall months and he was super sick. They put him on a steroid and I was not going to play the game of figuring out if he had Asthma or not. I insisted the doctors send me to the Asthma specialist that my other son was seeing. They did not see the point but I made them send me. He was to young to mess around with this sickness. I was not going to play any games. I walked into the Asthma doctor's office and when she looked at him she was wondering why she was seeing such a tiny child. She did usually get them until they were 1 or 2 years old. She knew me because of my other son. She knew how dedicated I was at helping my boys breathe. I told her he was already on a steroid and she looked at me and said I think you were smart to bring him in so soon. So now we had to set up a plan. For 2 months we fought with him not being able to breathe. He was never diagnosed with RSV but I am sure he had it 2 or 3 times that winter. They had to scope his throat and stomach because he kept getting sick. If you have never given a breathing treatment to a tiny baby you have never in your life experienced true fear. When your babies chest is heaving with every breath and you put the mask on his face which makes him scream and cry but that is the only way he will get the medicine into his lungs so he can breathe. There were many nights I would cry with him as I would hold him on my lap singing the songs my mother sang to me wishing I could take this nightmare away.
;Finally when he was 9 months old the doctor found out he had acid reflux also. The asthma would make the acid reflux worse and the acid reflux would make the asthma worse. So the two problems would make each other worse. Needless to say I was doing a lot of traveling to Tucson to meet with doctors. On the way home from a lot of those trips I would stop in Benson at the McDonald to get a Large Strawberry shake. It was one of those stops that I finally realized I was a stress eater. Those strawberry shakes were the one thing that helped me cope with what I was going through. I am not sure how much weight I gained that 9 months but It was way more than I should of.
A month after we finally figured out how to help my son, my father died. That was a huge breaking point for me and I had go to the doctor to get on medication to help with my depression. Those moments are not what I like to talk about. When you get into a deep whole that you can't figure out how to get out of. I knew something was wrong with me. I would get upset at my husband for things that normally would not bother me. One night I was at Walmart and he called me to tell me something I did wrong or something. I really have know Idea now what it was. It made me so upset that when I was driving home I would of kept on driving. I would of just left my world and not go home but I had a sick baby at home that (at least he) needed his mom. I drove to a church that was close to my house and cried for 1/2 an hour. I was not crying because of the argument, I was crying because I wanted to run away. I thought I had lost my mind. So my stress eating led to me wanting to run away. Those feelings were not me and it scared me. I went home that night and told my husband what happened. I knew something was wrong. I knew at that point I did need medication. I needed something to help me. I needed to get out of the funk I was in. I realized that stress and depression were both very real. They both help you decide how you feel. In my case they both fed my body and it is something I work on everyday.
At this moment I am going to start asking myself why am I eating this? Another reminder to "call your food what it is" Nutrition, Addiction, Entertainment.......Why am I eating this food, Stress or health. It is no longer about losing weight. I think I have said that before. AM I EATING FOR STRESS OR HEALTH? This last couple of weeks I have been eating for Stress, Somethings are healthy but a lot of what I eat is for stress I know that. So the next question is what am I going to do about it?
In my studying this last 3 weeks a couple of things stuck out to me. One thing my mom would always tell me when I was growing up " Write a letter to who ever wronged you and then throw it away. So I guess that is what I am doing right now. Writing about my problem or my addiction. Write it down but this is one thing I don't want to throw away. In my studying about addiction, they say write it down. It doesn't matter what you say just start writing. I do know that I have done my mother's advice a few times and boy did it make a difference in how I dealt with some of my problems. In fact I will probably write a letter this week about the stress I had this past week. The key is to burn it after wards so that issue will be gone. I know that has helped me.
The other thing I learned is my scriptures and the temple are very important to my healing. Our Heavenly Father is so good and kind. He listens to my heart when it is hurting, he listens to my soul when it wants to cry.
The power of the Atonement is so real. Our Savior Jesus Christ not only paid the price for our sins, he also took on our sorrows. He knows what I am feeling. He knows my insecurities and my happiness. He is the one that will heal my addiction. He is the one that will take away my stress. I love him so much!
Flash back 11 years ago. I had just given birth to my 4th living child. When he was 1 month old he developed the same thing my other two boys had Asthma. Usually with Asthma you have to show a pattern of him being sick for 1 year before he would be diagnosed with Asthma. He was to young and to small to mess around with this sickness. It freaked me out. We had not even started the fall months and he was super sick. They put him on a steroid and I was not going to play the game of figuring out if he had Asthma or not. I insisted the doctors send me to the Asthma specialist that my other son was seeing. They did not see the point but I made them send me. He was to young to mess around with this sickness. I was not going to play any games. I walked into the Asthma doctor's office and when she looked at him she was wondering why she was seeing such a tiny child. She did usually get them until they were 1 or 2 years old. She knew me because of my other son. She knew how dedicated I was at helping my boys breathe. I told her he was already on a steroid and she looked at me and said I think you were smart to bring him in so soon. So now we had to set up a plan. For 2 months we fought with him not being able to breathe. He was never diagnosed with RSV but I am sure he had it 2 or 3 times that winter. They had to scope his throat and stomach because he kept getting sick. If you have never given a breathing treatment to a tiny baby you have never in your life experienced true fear. When your babies chest is heaving with every breath and you put the mask on his face which makes him scream and cry but that is the only way he will get the medicine into his lungs so he can breathe. There were many nights I would cry with him as I would hold him on my lap singing the songs my mother sang to me wishing I could take this nightmare away.
;Finally when he was 9 months old the doctor found out he had acid reflux also. The asthma would make the acid reflux worse and the acid reflux would make the asthma worse. So the two problems would make each other worse. Needless to say I was doing a lot of traveling to Tucson to meet with doctors. On the way home from a lot of those trips I would stop in Benson at the McDonald to get a Large Strawberry shake. It was one of those stops that I finally realized I was a stress eater. Those strawberry shakes were the one thing that helped me cope with what I was going through. I am not sure how much weight I gained that 9 months but It was way more than I should of.
A month after we finally figured out how to help my son, my father died. That was a huge breaking point for me and I had go to the doctor to get on medication to help with my depression. Those moments are not what I like to talk about. When you get into a deep whole that you can't figure out how to get out of. I knew something was wrong with me. I would get upset at my husband for things that normally would not bother me. One night I was at Walmart and he called me to tell me something I did wrong or something. I really have know Idea now what it was. It made me so upset that when I was driving home I would of kept on driving. I would of just left my world and not go home but I had a sick baby at home that (at least he) needed his mom. I drove to a church that was close to my house and cried for 1/2 an hour. I was not crying because of the argument, I was crying because I wanted to run away. I thought I had lost my mind. So my stress eating led to me wanting to run away. Those feelings were not me and it scared me. I went home that night and told my husband what happened. I knew something was wrong. I knew at that point I did need medication. I needed something to help me. I needed to get out of the funk I was in. I realized that stress and depression were both very real. They both help you decide how you feel. In my case they both fed my body and it is something I work on everyday.
At this moment I am going to start asking myself why am I eating this? Another reminder to "call your food what it is" Nutrition, Addiction, Entertainment.......Why am I eating this food, Stress or health. It is no longer about losing weight. I think I have said that before. AM I EATING FOR STRESS OR HEALTH? This last couple of weeks I have been eating for Stress, Somethings are healthy but a lot of what I eat is for stress I know that. So the next question is what am I going to do about it?
In my studying this last 3 weeks a couple of things stuck out to me. One thing my mom would always tell me when I was growing up " Write a letter to who ever wronged you and then throw it away. So I guess that is what I am doing right now. Writing about my problem or my addiction. Write it down but this is one thing I don't want to throw away. In my studying about addiction, they say write it down. It doesn't matter what you say just start writing. I do know that I have done my mother's advice a few times and boy did it make a difference in how I dealt with some of my problems. In fact I will probably write a letter this week about the stress I had this past week. The key is to burn it after wards so that issue will be gone. I know that has helped me.
The other thing I learned is my scriptures and the temple are very important to my healing. Our Heavenly Father is so good and kind. He listens to my heart when it is hurting, he listens to my soul when it wants to cry.
The power of the Atonement is so real. Our Savior Jesus Christ not only paid the price for our sins, he also took on our sorrows. He knows what I am feeling. He knows my insecurities and my happiness. He is the one that will heal my addiction. He is the one that will take away my stress. I love him so much!
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