Moving onward and upward.
Here I am with my honesty in tacked. "Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved" (Alma 32:13)
The next step in the addiction recovery is HOPE. As I study this program I realize that my addiction to food is nothing compared to other people. And yet I still have an addiction. I find that when I eat, most of the time it is food I am addicted to. I am finding that I need to find that hope that a lot of people find when they are faced with an addiction. "Most of us felt stripped of any hope" that line makes me so sad but yet some times when I am eating the things I know will make me feel yucky; that is what goes through my mind.
"Forget it I just want to eat what I want to eat"
"I can't give it up"
"I just want that bowl of ice cream"
" I guess I am going to always be this weight so who cares"
"This is who I am , people shouldn't judge me" (even though I am judging myself)
In the past I have always reached out to someone. I have had dear friends try to help me. And it worked for a while. For a while I did great, lost 20 or 30 or 40 lbs. So what happens when those people are no longer in my life, well we all know I get back to my old habits. I give up everything they helped me with and I stop trying so hard.
This line made me really thing when I read it......"Finally humbled, we reached out for help. Following what felt to us like the tiniest ray of hope." That is what I felt like. But then once again they left me and what was I left with FOOD. The friend that never leaves, the friend that always makes my emotional self feel better. Now mind you those people never left me, I left them, I got busy with life and stopped seeing them for what ever reason. To be honest It was my decision that led me back to the food.
It reminds me of the Savior....he is always there. He is always in the shadows waiting until you come to him again. He is the one that will never leave us even when we make bad choices, he is in the shadow. He won't come to us unless we call to him. We have to call to him. "As we look at step 2 HOPE, we became willing to replace trust in ourselves and or addictions with faith in the love and power of Jesus Christ. We took this stpe in our minds and in our hearts, and we experienced the truth that the foundation of recovery from addiction must be spiritual."
So as I begin the second step I will " hope for things I can not see" I will hope for the healthy person that is in me to come out. I will hope for an understanding and more reasons as to why I have my problems. I will search for the tender mercies the Lord has shown me in my life. " You will see the tender mercies of the Lord in your life as you learn to watch for them and as you come to believe that the power of God can indeed help you recover." That is what I want in my life to see every tender mercy that the Lord shows me every day. I want to use those tender mercies to help me heal and beat this addiction.
The next step in the addiction recovery is HOPE. As I study this program I realize that my addiction to food is nothing compared to other people. And yet I still have an addiction. I find that when I eat, most of the time it is food I am addicted to. I am finding that I need to find that hope that a lot of people find when they are faced with an addiction. "Most of us felt stripped of any hope" that line makes me so sad but yet some times when I am eating the things I know will make me feel yucky; that is what goes through my mind.
"Forget it I just want to eat what I want to eat"
"I can't give it up"
"I just want that bowl of ice cream"
" I guess I am going to always be this weight so who cares"
"This is who I am , people shouldn't judge me" (even though I am judging myself)
In the past I have always reached out to someone. I have had dear friends try to help me. And it worked for a while. For a while I did great, lost 20 or 30 or 40 lbs. So what happens when those people are no longer in my life, well we all know I get back to my old habits. I give up everything they helped me with and I stop trying so hard.
This line made me really thing when I read it......"Finally humbled, we reached out for help. Following what felt to us like the tiniest ray of hope." That is what I felt like. But then once again they left me and what was I left with FOOD. The friend that never leaves, the friend that always makes my emotional self feel better. Now mind you those people never left me, I left them, I got busy with life and stopped seeing them for what ever reason. To be honest It was my decision that led me back to the food.
It reminds me of the Savior....he is always there. He is always in the shadows waiting until you come to him again. He is the one that will never leave us even when we make bad choices, he is in the shadow. He won't come to us unless we call to him. We have to call to him. "As we look at step 2 HOPE, we became willing to replace trust in ourselves and or addictions with faith in the love and power of Jesus Christ. We took this stpe in our minds and in our hearts, and we experienced the truth that the foundation of recovery from addiction must be spiritual."
So as I begin the second step I will " hope for things I can not see" I will hope for the healthy person that is in me to come out. I will hope for an understanding and more reasons as to why I have my problems. I will search for the tender mercies the Lord has shown me in my life. " You will see the tender mercies of the Lord in your life as you learn to watch for them and as you come to believe that the power of God can indeed help you recover." That is what I want in my life to see every tender mercy that the Lord shows me every day. I want to use those tender mercies to help me heal and beat this addiction.
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